Things I officially cannot — or shouldn’t be able to — do at work without my magic magnetic ID card:

• Walk past security in the lobby.
• Get on the elevator to my floor.
• Go to the bathroom after 7pm.
• Walk in or out of my office after 9pm
• Access the building’s gym.
• Access the lab room and play with my little robot friends.
• Access the lab room and play Wii Tennis on the lab’s 20 mile-wide plasma screen.

Damn you Big Brother…