6:24am: “Hey, you up yet?”

6:37am: “I said: ARE YOU UP?”

6:42am: “Yo, it’s like totally daylight out there! get up!”

6:45am: “Don’t mind me, I’ll be jumping up and down around the room until you get up.”

6:46am: “Oh, cool, you’re up. Let’s have breakie!”

6:52am: “Hmn, more breakie?”

6:54am: “Wow, that was nice. You should eat more, you look a bit peaky.”

[…]

8:23am: “Get the fuck AWAY FROM ME. You sweaty disgusting mess. I’ll cut you.”

9:07am: “So… you thinking of going soon? ‘Cause we would kinda like the house to ourselves.”

[…]

11:54pm: “You call THAT a time to get home?”

11:55pm: “I don’t give a rat’s arse about your boring day at work. DINNER. NOW.”

11:59pm: “Oh, you’re still here…”

[…]

3:03am: “Hey, you asleep yet?”

3:05am: “HEY!”

[…]

I am stuck in an abusive relationship with two sociopathic cats.

Watching our two cats stalk a fly throughout the house is like a scene out of a low-budget Jurassic Park remake, down to the sudden jumps on furniture, jerking head motion and small guttural coordinating noises.

A lot less efficient, though.

I am not sure what is the proper Summer equivalent term to ‘hibernation’, but I am fairly certain that is what our cats are currently attempting.

The volunteer lady from the shelter had told us that putting the kittens in a laundry net had a calming effect on them that would make it a lot easier to give them a shampoo…

A detail I should definitely have started with, when I asked the lady at the store if she thought that laundry net would fit a kitten.

Good news: our five-week old kitten is very athletic and can effortlessly scale the 2m high cupboard outside our bedroom (the curtains help).

Less good news: she has, however, not yet figured a way to climb down from it, other than by meowing at the top of her surprisingly capacious lungs, at 7 in the morning until a (sleepy) human elevator shows up.

In prevision of Tokyo’s cold Winter approaching, we have adopted a pair of 100% organic heaters. Although their current wattage is still a bit low (despite sustained high-level purring), we fully expect them to reach a good heating capacity before end of year…

And if you are looking to adopt cats in Japan, you should definitely have a look at these guys and these guys (recommended by previous): they do amazing work trapping, neutering and releasing adult stray cats, while placing kittens for adoption. (Needless to say, if you ever buy a cat from one of those horrendous pet mill shops, I will never talk to you again).