- Start your title with a number.
- Include random grandiloquent synonym for “great”.
- Attach irrelevant but eye-catching
stock photoloosely-credited picture nicked from Google Image. - Throw a dice, pick a list item and single it out in your title, to fool people into thinking the list was put together by someone who gave a fuck.
- Include a few useless factoids and thoroughly obvious common-sense observations as filler.
- Sunny weather often follows bouts of rain. Except when it doesn’t.
- The Jews control the media and are conspiring with the reptilian political elites to enslave the human race.
- Include at least one moronic / blatantly false / controversial item, to goad naive people into engaging with your list on social media, thus giving it more exposure.
- Stop and contemplate the vacuousness of your existence.
- Come to the frightening realisation that you are an insignificant leech on the backside of Humanity, whose contribution to the Joy, Happiness or Anything Good to the world is a net negative.
- Jump off a bridge.
12 Awe-Inspiring Tips to Make Shitty Clickbait Listicles. Number 5 will make your head explode!
Filed under: Blogging for Google, Le Sigh