Archive for the 'Geek' Category

Commenting Guidelines: the Rules of Doh

Saturday, February 25th, 2006

If you hold back anything, I’ll kill you.
If you bend the truth, or I think you are, I’ll kill you.
If you forget anything, I’ll kill you.

In fact, you’ll have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick.

Do you understand everything I’ve said?

Because if you don’t, I’ll kill you.

Rory the Breaker

I’m deeply sorry that my first post of note in weeks must be about such a pedestrian topic, but I feel it is time to publicly edict certain rules about commenting on this fine piece of thought-challenging writing we call our blog.

Ironically, while strait-laced spam (you know the kind: congratulation on the neatness of your post punctuated by a recommendation for this interesting site about horses playing texas holdem’ with mature grandmas) is no longer an issue, “semi-spam”, or plain non-spam-but-moronic comments have become a real problem. I blame Google, and the thousands clueless imbeciles it washes up on my shores daily.

For the first time in History, it is possible to get a glimpse into the collective IQ of a sizable share of this planet’s population. And trust me: it is rather depressing. Not that I had much doubt left, but this shall go a long way in reenforcing my personal opinion that, as a species, we are frighteningly dumb. How we managed to make it thus far is beyond me… and a strong argument in favour of Intelligent Design theories… I mean, there has to be a God out there. A God that, for some unfathomable reason, is personally attached to the survival of a species who considers “I like cats!!!!11111″ and “u R s0 kewl!!!” to be the best possible use of nigh-boundless, worldwide inter-communication.

Don’t get me started on Google queries.

(more…)

Spam Karma donations: You Rock!

Sunday, February 5th, 2006

Less than a week ago, we were launching our major campaign: “A bullet for every Spammer, a lifetime supply of quality gin for dr Dave“.

We called for your generosity in helping make this dream come true (especially the drinkable part).

The results are in.

(more…)

The State of Spam [Karma]

Monday, January 30th, 2006

First blog update on Spam Karma, Wordpress development and Spam in many months, and a crucial one at that. Being notoriously verbose to the point of irrelevance, yet with lots to say today, I have tried to provide a telegraphic sum-up below, feel free to skip and go straight to the parts you may care about (hint for the busy ones: the plot thickens mostly around part 6 and 7).

1. How well is SK2 stopping spam currently?

Pretty damn well, thank you.

2. What’s wrong in the peaceful Kingdom of SpamKarmia then?

A new breed of Evil has been summoned and is threatening to breach in.

3. How evil?

Very Evil… and powerful.

4. Won’t anybody show up and save the day?

Doubtful…

5. Is there really nothing you can do?

Of course there is.

6. Then why aren’t you busy doing it, you lazy bastard

Here is why: …

7. You wouldn’t leave us to die here, would you?

Watch me.


And now for the details:

(more…)

Please be a moron somewhere else

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005

I already expressed in the past my thoughts on hot-linkers

I don’t think I need to go over the vast insignificance of script-kiddies: they rank somewhere between leeches and mono-cellular organisms in the general scheme of Internet things. Actually more like irritating little flies or mosquitoes…. Mosquitoes with really, really small penises and a need to overcompensate for it.

But to be both a script-kiddy defacer and a hotlinker…

That just begs for me to take 10 minutes off my very busy moving day and go the extra-mile in moronic-hot-linking prevention:

[Before] [After]

Free to a good home

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

Picture lubitel_lomo.jpg As announced previously, I shall soon take on my next intercontinental move. And with it, comes the quintessential thrice-a-decade shot at Zen-Buddhist enlightenment, by shedding my lowly physical existence of all the useless materialistic junk I have accumulated over the past few years.

Put simply: I wanna travel light, when I leave in December. We all know that is not going to happen, but if at all possible, I would love to avoid reiterating last September’s episode of little old me, in the middle of Narita airport, handing over copies of Nietzsche’s Morgenröte and Russell’s History of Western Philosophy to hapless passersby, in a desperate effort to bring my luggage somewhere closer to the maximum weight allotted (including the extra 50% charitably granted by a sympathetic airline employee).

This Autumn cleaning, though, is more about uncluttering my life, getting rid of things I would never consider giving up, just making sure I keep my addiction to shiny baubles and uselessly expensive clothes under control. This is my own personal version of zen detachment: splurge on mindless consumeristic shopaholism for a few years, then strip it all down to three suitcases, the moment I skip the country.

And don’t think for a second that I am the unmaterialistic, happy-to-live-off-water-and-air, sort of guy: not only am I ridiculously attached to my things, but I also have this near-clinical tendency to pack every single bit of paper, receipt, bill etc. in the vague hope they’ll be of some use one day.

In this spirit, I have decided to offload my camera. Not any camera, mind you, but my faithful old Lomo Lubitel 166U.

Saying the любитель 166U was made by the Leningradskoye Optiko Mechanichesckoye Obyedinenie (Leningrad Optical Mechanical Union) in the early 80’s should give you an approximate idea of what we are dealing with. It was bought for less than $20 equivalent in roubles in a rather decrepit Moscow store, about 10 years ago. Although brand new then (came in a sealed box), it had already been sitting there for a good decade. Much like these rumoured Kalashnikovs made entirely of ceramic so as not to trigger metal detectors, this camera is pure plastic (with some glass for the lenses).

The Lubitel has made its reputation ever since as a cheap amateur camera that lets you easily take somewhat blurry artsy overexposed shots of people, without needing much of a formal training. Truth is: if you are half a photographer (Goddess knows I’m not, but having been assistant to one, I know the basics), you can take very decent pictures. Given proper conditions you might even come out with great pictures (the kind you usually only get with a $4K Swiss-sounding camera brand). It uses 2″1/4 rolls and a pretty wide aperture at its maximum setting, which means even your most underexposed mundane pictures will come out looking like the work of some seventies New York photographer if you squint a little.

As for me, I used it as my party camera: while the number of settings (all manual, of course) would usually be enough to confuse the most sober photographer, it turns out that overlooking most of them and just plain point-and-shooting with the focus on infinity gives, in 9 times out of 10, a very satisfying result. The tricky part was always to remember to advance the film manually. In fact, more than tricky, it’s damn near impossible, when down to your last 10% of neuron supply and pupils the size of a 500 yen coin, to spot the small, barely visible, indicator on the back of the camera that lets you see the numbers printed on the back of the film… My solution was to go by an approximate count and hope successive exposures wouldn’t overlap, that is: when I even thought of advancing the roll altogether. The results were often, to say the least, experimental (lots of double-exposures, some of them really neat).

(more…)

Battered Housewife Syndrome

Friday, October 21st, 2005

Picture ipodnano_black.jpg Longtime readers of this site may remember that I have in the past voiced certain strong feelings toward that famous fruit-theme brand. Worry not, my mind hasn’t changed, and the fact that my G4’s supposedly brand new screen, already replaced a first time, is starting to show up the familiar white blotches all over again (and this time no warranty), just hasn’t been helping at all.

I had last vowed, stomping on the remains of my prematurely dead iPod’s battery, that I would never purchase Apple hardware ever again in my life.

Sure, Apple can be a sweet and caring lover at times… After all, they still make one of the best operating system out there, despite recent efforts to put an end to this trend (that Tiger? it’s so bloated and overfed: you could probably poke it with a meat stick and walk away safe). But the moment you fall for its sleek looks and shiny baubles and bail out one of them good-looking Powerbooks or bad-boy iPods, then their real side will show through: daily abuse will set in, money will go missing and you will soon start finding suspicious paraphernalia around the house.

Seriously, though: that whole “Superior Quality” myth around Apple products is way long gone. It disappeared around the time they started shipping computers that most proletarians could afford: over ten years ago. The original Mac 512K or that souped up Mac Classic on which I did my first Mac Paint drawings? It still worked 10 years later; hell, for all I know, they still work now. On the other hand: LC3? Performa? Powerbook G4? Give them a year or two and you’ll end up with some of the most technologically-advanced paperweights ever made.

What? You think Steve Jobs goes to Taiwan every morning to personally handpick the components that go into your computer? Your beloved Mac hardware is made from the exact same stuff as that Windows-based piece of junk your neighbour is running. Your extra money doesn’t go into quality components, it essentially goes into financing R&D for new shades of white plastics and buying fresh gazelle snacks for their OS menagerie. Unfortunately for them, Apple’s tight-knit user community is also what allows them to compare and realize that entire series of the stuff they bought are blatantly riddled with factory defects. As a result, no sane well-informed customer would ever consider using the first generation of an Apple-made product, unless receiving a monthly paycheck from their QA department.

So why, oh why, did I buy this damn thing? I know it will break well before reasonable wear sets in - actually, it already has for many. I know it’s still the same maker of shiny but shoddy hardware. I know I’ll be back here to rant about its defects soon enough.

I could try and justify it by saying that the nano is fairly cheap (compared to the rest), so incredibly damn small and I just couldn’t take another week without portable music device (see device stomping incident above).

But at the end of the day, we all know there was no rational justification. The pattern of abusive relationships is just a hard one to break from.

But look at him! He’s so cute and so tiny… How could I resist! I know he didn’t mean what he did to me last time: He changed. Things will be different this time…

Web Two Zeros

Thursday, October 6th, 2005

Anybody in charge of that Web 2.0 thing?

I feel it’s time I tell you about my business plan for http://p.et/s.

This time around, we’ll be using AJAX and RSS technologies. You won’t have to reload a single page to order your dog food. Just. Brilliant.

Please send your contributions to the first round of funding via Paypal.

Let’s do a little experiment!

Friday, August 12th, 2005

One thing that nearly all people have in common is that they like to know when another person send them something. Using a variety of sources, I think I have a pretty good handle on finding other people who send me stuff. In fact, I think I find about 90% of all packages sent to me — but I may be wrong.

This is an experiment to see how “findable” my house is. Put me to the the test, fellow retarded monkeys bloggers science-inclined readers.

All you have to do is send a $100 bill to this particular postal address (i.e., the one I’ll email you privately). Just call it Dr Dave Postal Tracking Experiment or something like that. After a few days, I’ll post a list of every people I found have sent me a $100 bill. If you’re not on the list, I’ll invite you to send me your tracking number. I’ll report these unfound bills to the Post Office, and we’ll try to figure out why I didn’t get them.

By the way, this is not just a cheap way to get some money (although it won’t hurt). I really think it will be a useful experiment. I’ll reveal all of my sources and, hopefully, learn about some new ones. I think other people and the postal tracking companies may benefit from the results.

Inspired by Mr. J-Walk and his brilliant scheme idiot-trap Blogger Experiment.

(more…)

A pretty bad week for databases.

After nearly killing a client’s DB yesterday (and spending most of my night restoring every bits and pieces semi-manually), I felt it wise to secure my own DB here. The one that stores this blog. Guess what happened then?

Yea, I blew the DB too. Or to be more precise: mySQL blew the part of the DB encoded in Japanese.

Here again I just spent half my night recovering everything that could be. Unfortunately all Japanese content for entries posted in June and early July is lost for good: not like it had much literary value, but still a bummer. And in case you are wondering about backups: believe me, I have backups, hundred of them… It just turns out that this piece of crap SQL isn’t even able to properly back up an exact binary copy of your tables that won’t screw up when it encounters encodings it can’t handle properly. So every single backup I have, is identically screwed.

My last personal piece of advice to any mySQL user out there, is to stay away from mysqldump do a freaking binary copy of the db files directly.

Introducing bCal

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005

And for once: geeky news of interest to the non-geeky crowd…

For the past few days, I have been spending every available minute on a brand new pet project. I was finally able to release a first prototype yesterday (well, this morning really, but that was before going to sleep, round 5am).

bCal is, to be short, an “event aggregator”: it collects event announcements scattered across blog entries into a calendar where they can be subscribed to (from a desktop application, like Apple iCal) or viewed online (through a PHPiCalendar interface) by anybody.

A few features of bCal:

(more…)

Le Français Comme On l’Aime

Saturday, July 30th, 2005

The Dangerously Trilingual Thaïs may have posted the funniest straight-faced geeky post ever (in French).
Or how a serious warning about Linux installs compatibility starts sounding like the latest Beatrix Botter volume (translation mine):

Whatever you do, do not launch an apt-get dist-upgrade to the new version (still under development) “Breezy Badger” at this time. [...] My install, essentially “Hoary Hedgehog” on a base of “Warty Warthog“, worked very well until that fateful moment [...]

Automating DB Backups Pt. II

Friday, July 29th, 2005

A quickie-techie follow-up to an old post in which I exposed the simple, yet overlooked idea of having backups of your DB automatically sent to a gMail account.

(more…)

WP-plugins.net Changes

Monday, July 25th, 2005

So it’s 1am on a Sunday night, not much more has happened in term of exciting stuff ever since my latest week-end update (no more earthquake, no tsunami, no godzilla…), I am busy debugging code written by a maniac who apparently thinks that picking random combinations of three to six letters is a perfectly acceptable naming convention for all functions and variables in a multi-thousand lines program (and yea, I’m aware that this last bit means absolutely nothing to a rough 90% of my beloved readers: please color me equally stumped, albeit not for the same reasons)… It’s time for…

Techie Update of the Month

I have been putting in a bit of long-overdue work into wp-plugins.net, the ultimate WP plugins repository.

Namely:

(more…)

Tags - Updated!

Thursday, July 14th, 2005

Not in a blogging mood today, so instead, I finally installed a new plugin to support tagging.

Much to say about tagging later on, but for now, go check out the tag cloud in the categories menu above. Cool innit? Slowly working my way through my old entries, only entries up to June 2004 are correctly tagged at the mo.

UPDATE: moved the tags over to their own page (and tagged a few more entries). It’s all here now.

Nifty innit?

As part of an elaborate not-getting-laid-at-all-cost strategy, I spent the best of my Friday night hacking at home on a whim, bravely ignoring 1am drunken phone calls from a lonely ex, I didn’t stop until I basically had a working prototype.

And thus here you go:
Dr Dave’s Keitai Kanji Multiradical Dictionary!

Of course, you can use this dictionary from any browser, but it has been made especially compact, so as to offer convenient browsing on a small keitai screen.

Why bother making yet another multiradical dictionary when Jim Breen (and many others, most likely) already offers a very decent one on his site?

Two reasons:

  1. I wanted one that be easy to use from a keitai. Jim Breen’s is still a bit heavy to load and browse with a small screen.
  2. I wanted a smarter system for radical selection. All the systems I’ve seen so far let you choose your radicals from a checkbox list of all common radicals. Such a list can be quite long. This makes finding each radical quite tedious and particularly cumbersome on a keitai. Mine use a slightly different approach, that requires at least some knowledge of basic kanjis, but make it much faster then.

Instructions

Fairly obvious, really:

  • Screen 1: enter a string of kanjis. Can be any kanjis containing one of the radical you want to match or directly a radical. In practice, this means you should pick kanjis that look similar to the one you are trying to match… Say, you want to figure out [汾], you could enter [分] and [海]…
  • Screen 2: you will get a list of all radicals matching any of the kanjis entered previously (in our example, you’d get: [ハ], [刀], [母] and [汁]). Select the ones that belong to the kanji you are looking for (e.g. [ハ], [刀] and [汁]). Optionally, enter a number of stroke, with a margin of error (if you want to get any stroke count, do not change the ‘all’ value).
  • Screen 3 will give you a list of all kanjis (if any) containing all the radicals selected in the previous screen, ordered by frequency and stroke count (in our example, you’d get only the kanji you were initially looking for: [汾]). Along with the kanji, you are given stroke count and unicode value. Clicking on the kanji will do a word search in WWWJIC (translations). Clicking on the unicode value, will give you WWWJDIC’s Kanjidic entry (kanji pronunciation keys and data).

This script has been successfully tested with AU’s EZweb, but should work on any net-enabled keitai, please let me know if you encounter any problem. Suggestions and general comments most welcome.

Hope you’ll find it useful, I know I will!

Note: As usual, this project uses extensively the amazing amount of data gathered and made available by the EDRG on Jim Breen’s website.