Presented above: female head of state confronting her nefarious neighbour’s imperialist views. Also presented above: Darth Vader and Princess Leia.

It must be my medications, but when I saw this illustration of a French article on the current gas crisis between Russia and Ukraine, I immediately thought of another political squabble, in a galaxy far, far away (photo credits on the right: AP/Alexei Nikolsky).

Off to spend some quality time with my good doctor friends, hopefully sampling their large selection of delicious pharmaceutical-grade drugs along the way.

Barring some very unlikely technological leap in European medical facilities regarding internet access, I’ll be offline for a couple days. Use cellphone or carrier pigeon for any matter that cannot wait.

What you didn’t realise is that they had guns. Big, long, dangerous, machine-guns, with war criminals attached to the trigger.RocknRolla

Sure, at its essence, it’s still the same formulaic tale of London’s seedy underbelly and its colourful gangsters, but it also brings on a whole new range of kickassery, along with a perfect blend of wits, music and photography not seen since Lock, Stock etc.

It’s official: the end of times is upon us.

I always knew Bill Gates was the antichrist.

Not that I have anything against French cinema in general, but even I am getting tired of seeing thirty-something couples endlessly strolling through picturesque Parisian streets or sitting at cafés, absorbed in pseudo-intellectual discussions of their latest hormonal release…

And if I hear one more piano piece by Satie or a Bach partita in a film, I shall scream.

Furthering the spirit of language studies through movie-watching, what I have learnt so far on proper spoken kansai-ben:

1. Replace every ‘ない‘ by ‘へん‘.

2. Don’t say ‘とても‘, ‘ほんとう‘ or ‘ちがう‘, but: ‘めっちゃ‘, ‘ほんま‘ and ‘あかん‘…

3. Throw in loud ‘ほら‘ (with a throaty roll of the ‘r’) at random intervals in your conversation.

I’m totally ready for my move to the countryside.

As usual, feel free to go hunt for your likeness in the large version of the card. You can even check out a mega-large version (huge file warning) for better resolution.

Lovely pic of Chiba-san, in full zen contemplation of year past and year ahead, courtesy of Hiromi.