Darth Vader and Leia Poutine and Timochenko

Presented above: female head of state confronting her nefarious neighbour’s imperialist views. Also presented above: Darth Vader and Princess Leia.

It must be my medications, but when I saw this illustration of a French article on the current gas crisis between Russia and Ukraine, I immediately thought of another political squabble, in a galaxy far, far away (photo credits on the right: AP/Alexei Nikolsky).

Off to spend some quality time with my good doctor friends, hopefully sampling their large selection of delicious pharmaceutical-grade drugs along the way.

Barring some very unlikely technological leap in European medical facilities regarding internet access, I’ll be offline for a couple days. Use cellphone or carrier pigeon for any matter that cannot wait.

Not that I have anything against French cinema in general, but even I am getting tired of seeing thirty-something couples endlessly strolling through picturesque Parisian streets or sitting at cafés, absorbed in pseudo-intellectual discussions of their latest hormonal release…

And if I hear one more piano piece by Satie or a Bach partita in a film, I shall scream.

Furthering the spirit of language studies through movie-watching, what I have learnt so far on proper spoken kansai-ben:

1. Replace every ‘ない‘ by ‘へん‘.

2. Don’t say ‘とても‘, ‘ほんとう‘ or ‘だめ‘, but: ‘めっちゃ‘, ‘ほんま‘ and ‘あかん‘…

3. Throw in loud ‘ほら‘ (with a throaty roll of the ‘r’) at random intervals in your conversation.

I’m totally ready for my move to the countryside.