I take that back.

Hell, is a small but noisy rodent seemingly stuck between your bedroom ceiling and the neighbour’s floor, scuttling around aimlessly at 3am, only stopping every ten minutes to gnaw on stuff.

That critter is single-handedly squandering any tiny amount of goodwill Walt Disney may have ever earned his species.

You, my friend, have picked the wrong neighbour to fuck with. I’ve dealt with more resilient than you before.


  1. I had squirrels living in an enclosed portion of my roof above my bay window and their gnawing on the beams and constant squeeling drove me crazy. I borrowed a neighbours ladder and went up to try and block the hole through which they were entering and they just chewed their way through the roof tiles. I then bought large rat traps and crawled up through all the itchy fiberglass insulation to install them near where I knew they entered the main part of the roof. I also laid poison. In carrying out this vicious task I put my foot through my ceiling beneath and retired very itchy to my house beneath. My neighbour told me of the horrible way the squirrels died when poisoned and so i wished I had not taken that course of action and crawled bck up when I heard one making a sound like it was dying (idea was to take the poison away) I had forgotten the rat traps that I had set. I had only a small flashlight in my mouth and you can imagine the rest.

  2. Oh, I know tht sound too well. Except at my house it’s rats. With walnuts. I swear to god they’ve invented some sort of walnut soccer, and the field is in the cieling of my living room, which is also the floor of my bedroom. Fortunatley, the World Rat Walnut Soccer Cup only happens in the winter, so it’s been relatively quiet for a while.

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