You know, for all my left-wing political hysteria and the incredible amount of time I spend complaining about the state of democracy in the world, I am not much of a conspiracy theorist. I do not believe in that big evil masterplan to keep us all under control.

If anything, I am a strong proponent of the old “Never attribute to malice, what can easily be explained by stupidity” adage… Greed and stupidity, to be exact. And certainly many overt collusions between groups of scary individuals with similar interests. But no international cabal to hide the truth about alien abductions and the enslavement of poorer nations.

Just. plain. stupidity.

Yet, some times I can’t help but wonder. Especially when I wake up, have a look at the triumvirat that now presides over the United States of Earth, and realize they all play for the same team…

See, it all started with our beloved Consul, Supreme Commander of the Armies, followed by the Chancellor of the Exchequer, to be finally joined in their fight for the Greater Good by none other than the Grand Inquisitor of Our Holy Mother Church himself. That sure is quite a powerful trio we got here…

You might be unsure as to how that last one ties in with the first two. Allow me to give you a few pointers, plucked from recent news:

  1. In June 2004, in the heat of US presidential election, Mr. Ratzinger took a direct stand regarding the very political issue of giving Communion to pro-choice politicians (such as, you know, a certain catholic pro-choice presidential candidate).
  2. Ever since, Mr. Bush has met with every single US cardinal-electors for a friendly chat by the fireplace (many times, in fact).
  3. On April 19th 2005, Mr. Ratzinger was elected to the highest rank in the Catholic Church hierarchy, in what has to be among the shortest conclaves ever (nothing unheard of, but well below average, we’ll say).

You join your own dots. or you call me crazy. I don’t care: I’ll be busy looking for a desert island somewhere in the Indian ocean…

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