{"id":5332,"date":"2012-05-06T16:01:18","date_gmt":"2012-05-06T07:01:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/?p=5332"},"modified":"2012-05-06T17:41:01","modified_gmt":"2012-05-06T08:41:01","slug":"rain-business","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/archives\/2012\/05\/06\/rain-business\/","title":{"rendered":"Rain Business"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/20120506-090716-120x160.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"20120506-090716.jpg\" width=\"120\" height=\"160\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-5338\" srcset=\"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/20120506-090716-120x160.jpg 120w, https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/20120506-090716.jpg 180w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 120px) 100vw, 120px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>As of today, I am officially offering my services as Human Rain Cloud for hire:<\/p>\n<p>For a modest fee (and travel expenses), I will visit your city and bring unseasonably cold and wet weather for a duration of time equal or longer to my stay. No matter how naturally arid or sunny your local climate, my rain cloud-conjuring abilities have been tested on a variety of European towns, with a perfect 100% success rate to this day.<\/p>\n<p>Hire me and ensure your crops do not go dry and your golf course lawns remain a healthy green, even in the middle of the draughtiest summers.<\/p>\n<p>My service fees will go toward paying hospitalisation costs for the pneumonia I am developing.<\/p>\n<p>PS: to all my friends in Paris, Bordeaux, Antwerp, Amsterdam, Berlin: I am sorry for fucking up your sunny Spring weather. I&#8217;ll be going soon and normal weather should resume immediately.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As of today, I am officially offering my services as Human Rain Cloud for hire: For a modest fee (and travel expenses), I will visit your city and bring unseasonably cold and wet weather for a duration of time equal or longer to my stay. No matter how naturally arid or sunny your local climate, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[63,14,38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-berlin","category-life","category-quickies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5332"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5332\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5347,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5332\/revisions\/5347"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}