{"id":4406,"date":"2011-08-07T12:08:38","date_gmt":"2011-08-07T03:08:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/?p=4406"},"modified":"2011-10-17T18:59:30","modified_gmt":"2011-10-17T09:59:30","slug":"ostkreuz-tower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/archives\/2011\/08\/07\/ostkreuz-tower\/","title":{"rendered":"Ostkreuz Tower"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Ostkreuz<\/a><\/p>\n

Minutes from the Ostkreuz Tower<\/a> design planning committee meeting (ca. 1912):<\/p>\n

\n

\nHead of City Planning:<\/strong> How are the plans going for my diabolical lair of doom and despair? [strokes evil overlord<\/a>‘s pointy beard and burst out with maniacal laughter]<\/i><\/p>\n

Chief Architect:<\/strong> About that. I got your specs and there are a few details we need to go over… <\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> [cocks eyebrow mid-maniacal-laughter]<\/i> ?<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> Page 6, paragraph 13. When you write “The Tower of Doom shall be standing at the top of a massive dark volcano spitting rivers of glowing lava amidst bursts of thunder and the howling of a thousand souls bound for eternal damnation”… I don’t think we have the budget for that.<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> What? But that was a fundamental<\/em> part of the design!<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> Sorry.<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> What about the flock of fire-breathing dragons, then?<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> I doubt Animal Control will go for that.<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> The moat? At least give me the moat and giant man-eating crocodiles!<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> We looked into that and it just doesn’t sound practical.<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> But how are people to guess this is a train-station water cistern, if it doesn’t carry an adequate sense of doom and heavy foreboding?<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> Well, there are<\/em> a few things we can do… <\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> listening…<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> We could make the tower really ominous and lugubrious, like something out of a Tolkien novel. Make it entirely black. But not some sleek shiny black: we go for suffocating, light-absorbing, black-as-coal black. Something that would look great against our typical backdrop of sunless gray skies…<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> Keep going, I like what I’m hearing…<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> Shape-wise, I was thinking we’d go for a martial theme: dangerous and uninviting, military without the reassuring overtones… a pointy prussian helmet, maybe?<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> That sounds awesome! And so appropriate for a building that will define the landscape of the neighbourhood. When can you start?<\/p>\n

CA:<\/strong> The wheels are already in motion, sir…<\/p>\n

HoCP:<\/strong> Beautiful, beautiful… [strokes mean-looking white Persian cat while adjusting glass eye]<\/i> Everything is going according to the plan…<\/p>\n

[both erupts in evil laughters]<\/i><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I’m not saying this is<\/em> how it happened. <\/p>\n

But you’ll have to agree there’s a strong possibility.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Minutes from the Ostkreuz Tower design planning committee meeting (ca. 1912): Head of City Planning: How are the plans going for my diabolical lair of doom and despair? [strokes evil overlord‘s pointy beard and burst out with maniacal laughter] Chief Architect: About that. I got your specs and there are a few details we need […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[63,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4406","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-berlin","category-too-much-caffeine"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4406","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4406"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4406\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4667,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4406\/revisions\/4667"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4406"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4406"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4406"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}