{"id":1675,"date":"2008-05-17T07:42:54","date_gmt":"2008-05-16T22:42:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/?p=1675"},"modified":"2008-05-17T15:46:25","modified_gmt":"2008-05-17T06:46:25","slug":"my-friends-want-me-dead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/archives\/2008\/05\/17\/my-friends-want-me-dead\/","title":{"rendered":"My friends want me dead."},"content":{"rendered":"

All names, situations, health hazards and general disregard for a sane and reasonable lifestyle depicted here are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead or soon to be, is purely coincidental.<\/i><\/p>\n

\nKai:<\/strong> Mosh’mosh’!!!<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> Shin Nakano Suicide Hotline, what may I do for you?<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Dave, I know it’s you.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> Barely.<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Where are you? get your ass over here.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> Sorry: I’m sure it’s a great party, but I think I’m gonna pass on this. I badly need some rest.<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Man. Get over here. NOW.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> Really, I’m sorry… I would. But all I can think about is: my bed, some hot chocolate and a good movie.<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Sakamoto Ryuichi is standing less than 3 feet away from me now.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> …<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Get fucking a-moving.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> …<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> Do you know how much sleep I’ve had in the past 3 days? I currently look like what a 70 year-old crack whore raped by a meth-addicted raccoon might give birth to.<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Sakamoto. Ryuichi.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> Oh: and I finally succeeded at dislocating entirely both shoulders at the gym tonight. I can’t raise my arms above waist-level. I would need a 3-ft long straw to drink anything from a glass.<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Sakamoto Fucking Ryuichi.<\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> I am one hour of sleeplessness away from paranoid dementia. Random acts of senseless violence cannot be too long to follow.<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Sa.<\/a> ka.<\/a> mo.<\/a> to.<\/a> Ri.<\/a> yu. i.<\/a> chi.<\/a><\/p>\n

Dave:<\/strong> You have really sworn my demise, haven’t you…<\/p>\n

Kai:<\/strong> Great. Get a cab. See you in 20.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All names, situations, health hazards and general disregard for a sane and reasonable lifestyle depicted here are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead or soon to be, is purely coincidental. Kai: Mosh’mosh’!!! Dave: Shin Nakano Suicide Hotline, what may I do for you? Kai: Dave, I know it’s you. Dave: Barely. Kai: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2,21,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parties","category-japan","category-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1675"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1675\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}