{"id":1435,"date":"2006-09-11T00:19:44","date_gmt":"2006-09-10T22:19:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/archives\/2006\/09\/11\/bachelor-party\/"},"modified":"2006-09-11T08:04:54","modified_gmt":"2006-09-11T06:04:54","slug":"bachelor-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/archives\/2006\/09\/11\/bachelor-party\/","title":{"rendered":"Harold&#8217;s Bachelor Party"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>I am aching from muscles I didn&#8217;t even know existed.<\/li>\n<li>I was, at one point during this week-end, seen clutching to a rope, trying to get from tree A to tree B, 30 feet above ground.<\/li>\n<li>I am missing small but meaningful patches of skin and pieces of flesh from a couple spots around my body.<\/li>\n<li>I woke up earlier than if I had to go work. On both days.<\/li>\n<li>I swam in a lake that must have been collecting fertilizers from surrounding rural areas for the past 20 years. Judging by its color.<\/li>\n<li>I didn&#8217;t drink a drop of liquor, but absorbed enough Red Bull to start growing a second pair of bovine testicles soon.<\/li>\n<li>I didn&#8217;t see a single stripper.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Why the hell can&#8217;t my friends do like everybdy else and celebrate their bachelor party by getting drunk and snorting blow off a hooker&#8217;s tits in Las Vegas?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am aching from muscles I didn&#8217;t even know existed. I was, at one point during this week-end, seen clutching to a rope, trying to get from tree A to tree B, 30 feet above ground. I am missing small but meaningful patches of skin and pieces of flesh from a couple spots around my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-europe","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unknowngenius.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}